Showing posts with label Surrogacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Surrogacy. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

KC Surro Get Together

Went to my 3rd annual KC surro get together and 4th surrogate meet-up overall and had a blast, as usual. The location was the same Olive Garden SO and I had our first date at once upon a time. When compared to all the pregnant ladies we had last year, no one was pregnant or even cycling at the time of the meet up. So we all took advantage of the situation and had wine with dinner :-D

We had one GS, who is now retired, one of my fellow October cycling buddies (who didn't get pregnant that cycle and her last IP's just broke off their match because of financial issues but is hoping to match again soon), myself who is possibly matched with an IP (Shhhhh) a lovely TS who I believe is matched again, and a few new to the game girls who are going through the matching process.

Even having been through this once before, I always feel like I'm learning. Getting everyone together is  so great. We talked and talked and talked. Had a lot of laughs and briefly considered offering condoms to the table of teenagers who were obviously dressed to go to a formal dance. We were a little fearful of being flashed by the girls dresses (or lack thereof ;-) ). As we were walking out, I shrieked that I almost forgot to get a picture (one person managed to escape before the camera came out lol).  Good times. We always say we're going to get together more than once a year but then January rolls around again and I set up the next meet up.  One of the girls just moved out of state but I hear she'll be in town sometime this summer.  Might be a good excuse to get together again.  Here's the picture (forgive the goofy look of the short girl in the gray coat ~ahem~ me. It was the only picture that didn't turn out blurry.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

My Surrogacy Picture Montage

I put together a little clipit of still shots ranging from NYC (during the transfer) to my belly shots. I've been wanting to make something grouping all the pictures together for a while now <3

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Bills bills bills

Still having issues getting some of my surrogacy bills taken care of ~over exaggerated sigh~.  As soon as that's all squared away, I'd like to start looking into matching with new IP's.  I'd love to start now but know I won't be able to obtain my records to show any possible matches so I'm biding my time doing a whole lot of nothing!  Well, busily doing nothing, but nothing on the surrogacy front.  Still bloggity blogging and doing my group owner thing over at the Bargain Hunters Board on BabyCenter.

Christmas came and went with no card from the IP's :-/  Kind of hoping they were too busy to send them out this year (as I received one last year) and not that it was an intentional snub. SO also started a new job in this new year.  Exciting as he'll no longer have to travel! What's unexciting is since he no longer will be traveling up to 50% of the year (and no longer being able to carpool to work every other week), I need to look into getting myself a car. Boo! I actually liked being a one car family, as strange as that sounds. One thing to worry about at a time is my motto (see only child in my profile).

Do my readers like being able to follow their favorites on Facebook and Twitter?  My Twitter is100% public but my Facebook has been private since the dawn of time. I (stupidly) assigned it my usual Roxy moniker years ago, and now that I have it associated with my blog and youtube channels, am trying to decide if I want to make it public, or just start a "True Life: I'm a Stork" Facebook and keep my Roxy Facebook private. Thoughts thoughts, decisions decisions! I know I love being able to follow and interact with fellow surrogates and those involved in the surrogacy community online so I'm always interested in what the best way to communicate with everyone is!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Surrogate OCD

Stop looking at those surrogate classified ads woman!  You have no business looking at those right now.  There.  I just thought saying it (well, typing it) would help reinforce it in my mind!  It's a compulsion, I swear.  I even looked at them sometimes while pregnant.  It's usually a pretty even 2:1 ratio of surrogates to IP's.  Way more in need of a surrogate than the other way around.  Have I mentioned my agency has already contacted me about another journey as well?  I told them that we still need to wrap up surrogacy number 1 before thinking of a second (A few unpaid hospital bills still floating around, etc..).

Other than my marathon postpartum bleed (10 weeks with only a sporadic week of non bleeding), things are good.  Totally done with the perinatologists office and Lord help me, if I never have to step foot in that place again, I'll be one happy woman!  My gynecologist was very happy to see me though. Gave me a good once over, beamed looking at my delivery record and sent me on my way with some birth control pills (for the bleeding).  Dang! I was kind of hoping to be done with hormones for a while.  But then I dug out, and threw away some of my old progesterone in oil needles and decided the bcp's weren't so bad ;-)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Living Life Post Storkhood

I'm more than 4 weeks post delivery and tomorrow will mark 1 month to the date of the twins arrival.  I'm eagerly awaiting my 6 week postpartum check up (Really, I am. No sarcasm implied).  I'm curious to hear what they have to say on a few things and I'll check in with the details here.  Maybe I'll even get brave and share some of my postpartum belly pictures.  The truth of what twins do short women and their bodies.  I did text IM a few weeks back wishing her and the babies a happy 1 week in this world and IM replied that they were so thankful and thought of me everyday.  Kept wanting to touch base and see how I was doing but something (or somethings lol) kept coming up and they were crazy busy but in a wonderful kind of crazy.  What?!?! Two babies are a lot of work?  Who would have thought that.  Hehe, and then I went to bed and enjoyed my glorious, uninterrupted nights sleep :-D

In the past week I have been called a rockstar, crazy, awesome and pregnant (Note to all. 3 weeks postpartum is too soon for empire waisted shirts) among other things.  Had friends come in and visit from out of town at 2 weeks.  Took DS to the zoo (Along with 3 other adults and 10 children!) at 3 weeks.  I've also managed to hit up two children's birthday parties, go to the park, fly kites and hold him extra close for snuggles.  Pretty much all the things I was itching to do with DS that had to take a back seat to pregnancy.  He is, however, oh so patiently waiting for my doctors check up so we can go to the "roller coasters" aka amusement park.  I know kiddo! A promise is a promise. We'll get there!

Since I had a c-section, my uterus will be out of commission for at least the next year, if not permanently (SO and I are still in negotiation...Errr I mean we're still talking about it) so I was thinking about making this blog my permanent spot to hang out and talk with you guys.  Does that sound all right to you guys? *Hint. This may or may not be a rhetorical question ;-)*

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Part 2: Beyond Labor

From here on out, there's very little I was happy with.  I hate what comes off as bashing and "know it all" attitudes.  I realize they are the professionals and this is all my opinion.  However, my opinion of what happened is not a good one.  Far from it.

The pitocin got me to 5cm then was cut in half and I stopped dilating.  Didn't surprise me because it took 12+ hours of the pit running at those low levels (under 10) to get me from 1 to 2cm dilated.  I don't know why/how I was the only one who wasn't surprised that I had stopped dilating.  We had just started to push the pitocin back upward to get my contractions going again (from 7 to 9) when it was stated that I wasn't going to dilate any more.  My doctor had gone home. Yes home.  She was the on call doctor for the practice but wasn't in the building any longer (she supposedly lived really close to the hospital).  She obviously wasn't overly concerned something would be going wrong with me or the babies.  We were the picture of health.  I get checked a few more times while she's gone (once by my nurse and once  by a resident).  The resident tells me I feel a little swollen towards the front of my cervix.  My doctor comes back and declares it's time for a c-section.  I want more time.  This is where we start to clash.

What was a tense and difficult situation was made worse by the fact that all this happened shortly after I had sent SO out for dinner.  IM had texted him but he some how had missed the text.  It wasn't until he had failed to respond that she called him and he headed back to the hospital.  The absolute KICKER is that I never refused the c-section up to that point.  I had not consented to it and told everyone that I wouldn't until SO got here and I got the chance to talk with him.  Sounds kind of reasonable asking for a few minutes, right?  No babies in danger.  No high blood pressure or anything. Just "failure to progress".  ~Sigh~  Here again is where I'm the only one who thinks so.  What should have been a few relaxing minutes to calm myself and gather my thoughts turned into 20 minutes of "Let's all surround Sam's bed and grill her till she breaks"

Lame reasons are thrown at me. The longer I hold out, the lamer and less logical their reasoning gets

Doctor- "Your cervix is swollen so even if you dilate to complete, you won't be able to push the babies out"
Me- "......"  (I really didn't have much of a response because it's not true)

Doctor- "This is your second time looking at a c-section.  Some women's pelvics just can't accommodate a baby" 
Me- "You realize my first c-section was for breech presentation and not failure to progress, right?"

Doctor- "You've been laboring all day and are exhausted"
Me- "I'm actually not all.  Not even a little bit"

Me- "I was progressing fine until we cut the pitocin so low and didn't raise it back afterwards like planned"
Doctor- "That was unavoidable.  It was going to happen no matter what" (Remember in part 1 how I mentioned she thought we turned it down prematurely?  Funny how she changed her tune)

Also, it was fun to see how my "slightly swollen cervix" was made to become more and more of a serious health risk the longer I waited to consent to the c-section.  From "Baby is likely not positioned quite right" to "You're likely bleeding or have an infection. Your health is at risk!"

Oh my gosh LEAVE ME ALONE!  I have a thing.  Everyone has a thing, right?  My thing is I'd rather eat glass than cry in front of people.  I'm starting to come unglued.  It's is becoming harder and harder to speak without the obvious sounds of someone crying comes out and they won't stop asking me questions.  I even get asked "Well do you at least have any questions?" NO! Because no one has left me alone long enough to think!!!  I've already covered my eyes with a cool washcloth to try and hide the fact that I'm crying.  I'm alone but surrounded by people.  The nurse I had all day has just left so I have new nurse, doctor, resident, IM and IF all standing around me.  All I want is SO.   That's it.  Again, I don't understand how difficult it is to understand that I'm not committing to a c-section until he gets here and I have a chance to talk with him alone.

He walks into the room.  Thank God!  He asks everyone to leave for a few minutes.  Amen!  The door closes and I totally loose it.  He's trying to ask me what's going on. He knows they want to do a c-section but has no clue why.  My heart monitor is sounding it's alarm because I'm sobbing so hard.  I beg him just to hold my hand for a minute and let me calm myself down.  It's all I've wanted for the past 20 minutes and no one would give it to me.  I got an interrogation instead.  A little less than 5 minutes and I'm calm enough to talk to him.  I no sooner open my mouth and the nurse comes back in.  SO asks if she can give us another minute and she says no.  Baby B isn't on the monitors properly and she has to get it right.  Remember Baby B from part 1?  The baby that you put a monitor on about 95% of my belly and she shows up?  Yeah, that baby isn't showing up. Okaaaaay.  Not only that, it takes her 15 minutes of messing around to somehow pick him up.  All the while trying to talk to me about a c-section.  CONVENIENT! In the mean time I'm lying silently holding SO's hand. I won't talk with her in the room.  He still doesn't even know why they want to do the c-section.  Then, of course, my IP's come in wanting to talk (natural since it's been about 15 minutes at this point and how long could a conversation like this take) ~Sigh~ I still haven't talked to SO.  So he asks them nicely for another minute.  Nurse finally leaves and I start explaining everything.

He asks me what a c-section would mean to me, etc... He listened and told me what his thoughts of the situation were.  And being a man, wanted marching orders.  Was I going to have the c-section or not?  He told me not to worry about hurting others feelings and to do what I wanted. Unfortunately, I told him I felt like I really did need to do what they wanted.  If it had been my baby, I would have straight out told them no.  But that wasn't the case.  I felt so trapped that it was frightening.  This is forever.  This is the rest of my life.  1 c-section you can generally come back from but 2...Where 1 c-section closes your doors by about 90%, 2 closes them by about 99%.  This is a forever decision and I'm the only one who doesn't want to do it.   I'm finally ready to give up.  I want my doctor to actually check me and confirm what the resident said (since my doctor hadn't checked me herself for hours) and said I'll consent after that.  Doctor comes back in and tries the talkity talk again. Shoot. Me. Now. Please?  

I get rolled back to the OR and they of course want to use my epidural as my form of anesthesia.  Yeah, that epi that was working so well for me from part 1. We remember that, right?  Shoots me a little medicine. "I still feel that".  Shoots a little more "Still feeling that".  The head anesthesiologist tells the woman administering it to give it a few minutes because "We have time" (SURE COULD HAVE FOOLED ME!).  He finally tells her to push all the meds and we feel like we're good to go.  They start with the incision and SO arrives.  I'm getting a little frantic at this point and threw the tears trying to tell them that it burns and am having sharp, stinging pains at the incision site.  They ask if I'm in pain and SO is trying to tell them yes.  The doctor asks if I need to be put under and I beg for them not to. I don't know why, but that scared me even more at that point.  Luckily, after the first later or so, the burning went away.  Then the real fun began. Yay!  I got the whole cocktail of side effects from the drugs.  Felt like I couldn't breath, threw up multiple times throughout the surgery, got the shakes, and as they were delivering the placenta, felt intense cramping in my chest.  Ugh. I wanted to be awake for this, why?

At first, the doctors were going to make an exception and let 2 people in the OR. SO and one of the IP's.  Last minute they ended up letting them both in.  So, they were both present for the birth, which was nice.  What I was sad about was (outside of having to have a c-section) was that I missed their first moments with the babies.  That was the part of this whole experience I was probably looking forward to the most.  They had to dumb drape up so high that it was on my chest, but secured up by my ears so I couldn't see a thing.  I heard the babies cry but that was it.  They were far enough away that I couldn't really hear anything my IP's were saying.  After Baby B was born, SO gave me a kiss, told me he loved me and reminded me that I was healthy and the babies were healthy and that's all that mattered.  He then went over to the IP's and gave them hugs and congratulated them. And that was that for the pregnancy part of this journey.

Baby A- 5lbs 15oz
Baby B- 7lbs 6oz

Things aren't much better in recovery.  I'm still dealing with a lot of the side effects from the medication.  We're in one recovery room and the IP's are in another (where they were weighed and all that jazz).  SO and I didn't get a room in the "Well Mother/Baby" unit until after 1AM.  The IP's at some point were also moved to a room.  I heard them leave before us but IM later said they kind of got the shuffle for a while before actually getting into a room.  The first night is always fun because they wake you up once an hour for vitals. ~Yawn~.  Sometime in the morning SO got a text from IM saying they wanted to let me rest yesterday but wanted to know if I'd like to come meet the babies.  I'm still hooked up to the compression leg cuff things, still have my catheter in, etc...So I'm kind of tied to the bed but let them know after I can get out of bed, I'd love to meet them.  The day kind of dragged on.  My lawyer came out for paper work and lol, I'll admit that I was a little mad that he got to meet the babies before I did!  It was actually a long day.  Every time one of us was ready, something would happen.  It was 9PM before I got to meet them.  They were so different! One was obviously much smaller than the other.  One had dark hair and the other had peach fuzz. And their little personalities were very much the same outside the womb as in (which was fun to see).  I ended up not holding the babies.  I didn't ask and they didn't offer.  I really wanted them to have their time to bond with their babies.  I had essentially "held" them for the last 9 months.  I didn't take any pictures either.  Again, I wanted them to run the show.  They are so in love with their girls.  Their mom seems to have the magic touch so far and can get them to drink their bottles like pros.  Dad might end up being the official "burper" lol.  I talked with them for about an hour (learned their birth stats, etc...) and went back to my room.

I had sent SO home late that afternoon because he was returning to work the next day and had some work waiting for him at home that he needed to finish beforehand. After being fine pain wise the first 24 hours, I turned into a big ball of pain overnight. It sucked.  I was having some issues with the doctor.  She wanted me up more and to just use Motrin for pain. I had mentioned that I got constipated after my c-section with DS and if there was any better options for stool softners.  This some how transferred into "You shouldn't be taking narcotics because they'll constipate you".  Yes, I'm aware of this but after the night I had before, I just can't do that!  She tells me to double my activity and pushes back the interval I can get my medicine to 1 pill every 6-8 hours.  I was not happy (go back to the top of the page and re-read where I said there was very little I was happy about).  To add to the joy of my recovery, they are remodeling that wing of the hospital and I'm pretty sure someone decided it would be a good idea to put the woman without a baby right up against the construction.  I was in the last room down the hall (right before the construction walls) and we passed quite a few empty rooms on our way down the hall.  The noise sucked and didn't add anything to my recovery process.  

I had a few more visitors.  The nurse coordinator came by several times and told me to call her if I ever needed her.  I also spoke with the hospital social worker who checked on me (short visit. "How are you feeling?"  "I'm fine" lol, that was the bulk of it)  The pediatrician who saw the girls while in the hospital stopped by several times.  Once for some pregnancy history and again to see if I would donate breast milk to them.  I told her I would but I was pretty positive my IP's didn't want my milk (Which was confirmed.  They were happy with formula feeding). And my lawyer a time or two to get the rest of the legal stuff taken care of. I also had the same two nurses day and night switching off the entire time I was there (except the last day).  And not to say they weren't nice but I got a nurse I loved on my last day there (when I checked out before 2).  She hugged me on my way out and told me she wished she had been there all week to take care of me and I struggled not to cry. I wish she had been there too.  Also got a different doctor on call the last day.  When he made his rounds he told me to "Start taking my pain meds more liberally"  Thank the good Lord.  Got my prescriptions to go (pain meds to be taken 1-2 pills every 4 hours not 1 every 8 thank you very much!) and left.

If you've noticed this post was a lot about me and very little about babies well...I mainly have details about me and I know I consent to giving away details about myself.  That and I didn't have a ton of interaction with my IP's or the babies after birth.  Not that I'm complaining.  I truly truly wanted them to be in their comfort zone after birth.  My IP's did stop by my room with two pink little bundles in their carseats to say goodbye (The day after I got to meet them). 2 day old babies got to hop on a plane (as the nurse I got on my last day put it) because I grew such big, healthy babies!  I like the thought of that. Got hugs from them and IF said they'd keep in touch as they were leaving and it all felt right.

I think people are expecting me to be recovering emotionally from the babies but I'm not upset.  I'm recovering emotionally and physically from delivery and that is very hard for me right now.  To say I haven't teared up reading my own words would be a lie but I am getting there and I'm very thankful to be on the other side moving forward at this point.  The other big emotional struggle that I knew I would have would be my milk coming in.  I left without a baby and that's fine with me, but not having a baby to nurse has been difficult.  I decided to let my milk dry up rather than pump.  My IP's have chosen to formula feed given the emotional attachment I have to my milk, I didn't think I had it in me to pump for anyone but them.  I'm currently sitting with cabbage leaves on my boobs and choking down some nasty tea that's supposed to help me dry up.  Going on 48 hours since my milk came in.  Hoping it will go away soon!

At the end of the day, I've sent two people home with babies that will be loved, cherish and adored by their entire family and other than some morning sickness, a crazy nanny and a bumpy birth, this has been an absolutely flawless journey! I couldn't have dreamed of better IP's or a better support system, both in real life and through the internet.  Thank you to everyone!

The birth story: Part 1-The Prep & Labor

Monday June 18th.  It was finally here! The day I'd be checking into the hospital to start the induction of the surrogate twins.  We were supposed to meet my IP's at the hospital at 6:45 for a 7PM check in.  I was determined to get a mani/pedi in.  I had actually wanted a pedicure for my poor, worn out feet for quite some time but resisted the urge for fear of someone accidentally sending me into labor.  I went ahead and threw caution to the wind on induction day ;-)

SO actually beat me home from work that day.  I had just a few more things I wanted to put in my hospital bag.  One of my wonderful neighbors stopped by with a meal for me to put in the freezer to have when we came home.  She was also the one who had dropped off spaghetti for me to have waiting in the freezer when I got home from NYC after the embryo transfer. Very blessed to have a neighborhood full of great people!  After chatting with my neighbor for a while and finishing my hospital bag, SO and I thought we were going to have just enough time to eat dinner at the Panera across the street from the hospital...thought.  Less than 5 minutes on the road and I got a call from labor and delivery that they were a little full at the moment.  I was afraid they were going to push us back until the next day! Thankfully, she asked if we could come in an hour later because she thought most of the people they had wouldn't be staying.  Darn the luck?  We didn't think so.  With the extra hour, we had enough time to get some bbq from Oklahoma Joes.  Or as Anthony Bourdain labeled it, one of the  "13 Places to Eat Before you Die"

Yes it is inside a gas station and yes, the lines always reach outside the doors like that (and continue to snake around the inside of the doors until you reach the counter to order).  It's just that good.  My IP's had had lunch there earlier in the day.  Actually, they ate there twice since IF had arrived in town (Saturday and Monday).  He said it would have been three times but they're closed on Sundays.

7:45 rolls around and SO and myself are waiting in front of the hospital.  By the time we all get there and buzzed up in the elevators, we're told to wait in the waiting room and we'll be called back shortly. ~Tick Toc Tick Toc~.  The motto of surrogacy "Hurry up and wait" comes to mind.  We do get called back eventually and taken to our fancy labor room.  I call it fancy, because the last time SO and I were here was pre-remodel and, well...The comparison is like the motel 6 vs the Ritz.  The unfortunate news was that the "Well mother/baby" side of the ward was currently under construction.  But more about that in part 2.

We get in and, as usual, it takes forever and then some to get both babies on the heart monitors. You could put the monitors on 95% of my stomach and get Baby B.  Baby A was down so low in my pelvis, that she was difficult to get.  I updated the babycenter thread started on my behalf.

“I’m here, I’m checked in. About to get an iv then some pitocin. IP’s were here until a short while ago and will be back early tomorrow morning. I told SO he could go home and get a good nights rest but he may end up staying. Still at a 1 and 50% so….yeah, this could take a while.”

SO did stay all night while they ran low low levels of pitocin to me (They started at 1 and got me up to 10 by mid morning).  My IP's were staying very close to the hospital, while our home was around 25 minutes away.  It was late and SO didn't want to "risk" something happening before he could get to me.  Little did we know that was and wasn't going to be an issue in the end (Yes, I'll explain this too).  The night was a little difficult.  I was having to lie in very uncomfortable positions to keep Baby A on the monitors. I'd wake up in pain only to be told I had to move back into an even more uncomfortable position.  

Babycenter update at roughly 11AM Central time. 

“I just recently got my pit worked up to a 10. It’s giving me small contractions that are fairly frequent, just not large. Haven’t checked me yet again bc I’m not raiting my pain at more than a 2-3.
Not a lot going on. Just torturing me by forcing me to stay on my right side (to keep babies on the monitor)”
A little more waiting and... 
“I’m at a 3 now and we have the green light to go from 10 on the pit to 20 (over the next 5 hours)"
Now, the next update talking about a lot so I'll go into detail here. 
“At a 4. Water broken. Internal monitor placed on baby A’s head (thank goodness. She’s been so low that monitoring her externally sucked!). Still monitoring baby B on the outside.
Oh and I got my epidural. Sucked getting it in. Took 3-4 attempts and 2 doctors. I can still move my legs around so here’s to hoping it’ll be working when I need it lol. “
That tricky Baby A.  We could only pick her up while I was lying on my right side.  After being on my right side all night and morning, I was in quite a bit of pain.  I had a room full of epidural cheerleaders so that seemed like the next step.  The doctors came in to place my epidural.  Well, doctor #1 was having some problems.  There was talk about "small contact" space.  After messing around in one spot for quite some time, he decides he wants to start over in a new spot.  Announces he's done and gives me the "test dose" of medication.  My heart rate instantly goes up to the 160's. So they pull out again and doctor # 2 gives it a go.  After her fiddling around for a while she's almost in but keeps hitting a nerve that leads to my hip. Horrid horrid hip pain.  She would go a little, then pull back, mess with it a little then repeat.  Finally I had to just grit my teeth and let her do it.  Even once they got it in...lets just say it wasn't the best working epidural ever.  My legs felt tingly but I had full control over them (could lift my body with them, etc...).  From there I got an internal monitor on Baby A's head so we didn't have to worry about trying to pick her up on the outside and it was amazing. The way to get the internal monitor on her was to break my water so.  Here I am.  In a very short period of time I got an epi, cath, water broken and an internal monitor placed.  I felt like things were finally starting to take off! Then... 
“Had been at a 4-5. Contractions got crazy with no breaks between so we cut the pit from 14 to a 7. Now I’m stuck at a 5. Turned the pit back up to 9. Now impatiently waiting for anesthesia to come refill my meds.”
This was my last labor update on Babycenter.  About the contractions. I had one long set of contractions that didn't go 100% down before picking back up again.  This caused my nurse to cut the pitocin in half.  The doctor (at the time this happened) didn't think it was needed yet (but would later claim otherwise). Ok, fine.  I figure we'd give it a little while to cool down then slowly pump it back up. That "slowly" turned into stall stall stall.  My contractions had slowed to 4 minutes apart and dropped in intensity dramatically. Wait wait wait.  We barely got the order to start moving the potocin back up (from a 7 to 9) when people start telling me I've stalled and I'm stuck at 5.  I disagree.  Well, my feelings aside, the next cervical check I'm told I am also swelling a little towards the front of my cervix.  This is where I started getting angry.  This is also where I'm going to put a break in the birth story because I feel it's getting long and because I took another pain pill and feel the need to take a nap ;-)  
For those who've been following the story and already know most of what I just posted above, it won't be a long pause, promise!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The eviction notice has been sent

7pm Monday night (18th), I'll be checking in for my induction. Woo hoo!

IM is so excited. She got into town late last week and has her phone practically glued to her hand at this point. She's ready to go at a moments notice!  I've been so ready to go it's not even funny, but at this point, it would be (hate to jinx myself and say it) more convenient if babies stayed put until that time.  It's going to be a crazy busy weekend.  My cousins 2 year old daughters birthday party Saturday, Fathers Day Sunday, and I need to find time in there somewhere to visit family as my Grandfather is in the hospital and not doing well :-( So that means my aunt and 6 year old cousin will also be in town as well for the weekend.  As I said, crazy and busy will likely take place this weekend.

They almost didn't check me but I could read IM's face from a mile away that she'd love to know if we made any progress so I told her we should do it, at least to give her something to report back to IF.  1cm dilated (doctor said maybe a loose 1) and still 50% effaced.  Babies seem content where they are.  1 more non-stress test then that's it! All that will be left is to birth some babies.

Here's my 37 week picture in all it's bare belly glory!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

36 weeks 4 days and...

...I'm pretty sure the twins are never coming out.  Like ever.  I'm thinking I must have the cervix of steel because any time I've had to have an ultrasound or internal exam, I'm always told something along the lines of "Baby A is sooo low" or my personal favorite "How can you walk?!?!?!".  As of yesterday, I'm still only a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced.  Same as I was last Saturday when I in the hospital.  Oh, I didn't tell you about that?  It was a doozy of a trip.

I was having horrible pain on the right side of my back all day.  I tried to justify it as "twin pregnancy" aches and pains but by mid-afternoon, I called and was told to come in.  My doctor was in an emergency surgery so I was being seen by some resident at L&D. I get there and the babies are being ornery as usual about getting on the monitors and my heart rate is elevated enough to keep setting the buzzer on the monitor off.  Their solution to this is to tell SO how to turn it off himself so they don't have to keep coming into the room >:-(  Next they tell me they need to get some fluids in me.  So do they start an IV? No, they bring me a big jug of water and tell me to start drinking up. At this point I'm pretty much flat on my back trying to get into a position where they can properly monitor the babies.  Large amounts of water+ awkward positioning of pregnant lady= Massive horrible heart burn.  We were there 3.5 hours. It also took 2 hours to get a simple pepcid from them for the heartburn.  They never did any blood work, Mainly because I didn't have a fever (did I mention to you that I had taken tylenol before coming into L&D, because I did tell them).  I was told I had a bladder infection and sent me off with an antibiotic that I may or may not react to (because I'm allergic to penicillin). But it's ok folks, because I only break out into a miserable rash and don't experience breathing difficulties.  GOOD TO KNOW!  I also had to take it 4 times a day which is difficult since I have to wait a certain number of hours in the morning before I can take it (because of my thyroid medication).  It sucked.  I was mad.  That's about that.  After my appointment yesterday, I've been put on a different antibiotic and am hoping my next visit with L&D will have me not feeling slap happy.

Pictures!  These are from week 35.  I'll update more pictures from this week soon. I really need to blog often at this point as (I hope) they're going to be here any time!

                                                           The 35 week side belly shot

My "How ridiculous do I look" check before attempting to leaving the house.  Everyone needs a friend they can text pictures to for approval ;-)

And because everyone keeps telling me I don't look pregnant from behind, I decided to test out that theory.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

34 weeks vs 21 weeks. Wow!

I can't believe how much I've grown. I can't believe how I used to think I was huge in some older pictures.  It's kind of laughable now (Oh, and I promise the mirror isn't dirty.  It's just one of those super old mirrors that has cloudy spots on it.  On my list of "Things that came with the house I'd like to change).

                                                            2-25-2012    21week 4days

5-21-2012    33weeks 6days

Considering I was measuring 42 weeks pregnant a week and a half ago, Lord only knows where I'm at now.  Somewhere between agony and insanity I'm pretty sure ;-)

Now, on to a strange phenomenon that's been happening a lot lately.  When I'm out and about, the belly draws attention.  People kindly ask when I'm due, etc... Sometimes I'll just say "It's twins so I still have a ways to go" and leave it at that.  Sometimes, with the more talkative personalities, I'll take the time to explain that I'm a gestational surrogate.  Now the strange part.  When I reveal that I'm a GS, pregnant with twins, people often ask "Are they going to keep both of them?" or some variant of this questions.  Ya know, all the times I've just said "It's twins", and not pointed out specifically that I'm a surrogate, not once has someone asked me if I plan on keeping them both.  Do they not understand that both of these babies are someone's children? Of course they're going to "take" both of them.  Have to wonder what's running through their minds. Lol, what would happen to the other baby? "Well, my uterus was running a 50/50 raffle.  Better luck next time...?"

Thursday, May 10, 2012

32 weeks with the surro twins!

I am up to 20 appointments in the month of May (although I think that will be changing to 21).  They have a complimentary valet outside the hospital and today I was asked "Can I get your name...Ahh, never mind, I know who you are by now".  Compliment, yes or no? Lol

At last check (31weeks 0 days) I was measuring over 38 weeks.  And baby A was estimated to be 3 lbs 9 oz and baby B was estimated to be 3 lbs 2 oz.  In all, they weigh more than my son did when he was born at 39 weeks 0 days!

IM had a good (yet short) visit 4/30.  Got to see babies on ultrasound. They even switched it over to 3D briefly. But baby A was the only one who gave a face shot for that!  We're all very excited for their arrival but hope they stay baking for a little while longer.  Here are some belly pictures. 32 weeks!

SO left May 1st and will be gone until the 18th for work.  Which leaves me, my 4 year old and, as of Sunday, a baby kitten. ~Sigh~ This itty bity was found in the ivy and thorn bushes outside my bedroom window while a massive thunderstorm/hail storm moved through.  He was all alone and soaked.

He's 2-3 weeks old. So I have to bottle feed and manually stimulate him to go potty...Because I don't have enough going on right now ;-)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

And the marathon begins!

The appointments have come and won't be stopping any time soon!

Let's just run down my schedule here.

4/11 Iron infusion
4/16 Iron infusion
4/19 Office visit
4/23 Iron infusion
4/30 Ultrasound, Non-stress test & office visit
5/1 Iron infusion
5/3 Non-stress test

And there will be a physical therapy consult thrown in there somewhere!  It's maddening!!!!

The iron infusions for my anemia will take around 2 hours a piece and have to be done weekly until my hemoglobin level is at a 12, the non-stress tests (NST) take about an hour and have to be done twice weekly until the babies are born.  My office visits are up to twice monthly (Lord knows they'll be weekly before I know it) and the growth scan u/s are still once a month but will probably become more frequent here soon.

I have been a busy lady today.  Either on the phone or computer emailing/scanning documents all morning.  DS's dentist, my perinatologist, the physical therapy office, the infusion center, IM, the fund management lady, the surrogate coordinator from my agency, the pharmacy...and some of them I've had to talk to multiple times.  I think all my busy work for the day is done!  All that's left if to go to the pharmacy and pick up my partial order of RX prenatal vitamins.  They've been backordered and haven't heard when the rest will be in.  I called today and convinced them to give me their last 60 pills even though it's not enough to "fill" my entire order.  After that, I plan on lying in bed for a long while :-p

No post is complete without pictures!

My Easter outfit

Just cause they're cute. SO and DS on Easter

DS giving himself bunny ears

By the time I got home I had to make an emergency shirt change because the ribbed tank top I was wearing underneath was leaving imprints and my skin was ANGRY lol

I'm finally at that point where I feel like I can't stretch any further and I get asked if I'm about ready to "pop" 4-5 times per outing

Annnnnd I'm only barely 7 months pregnant.  Wish me luck ;-)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Welcome to the 3rd trimester!

I'm now 27 weeks pregnant and had the ever anticipated gestational diabetes test today.  Well, to be correct, first I had a growth scan (which takes over an hour), then I had my office visit, THEN I had the glucose screen.  Have I mentioned this is a fasting blood test?  Preggo was a little bit hungry by the time this was all through ;-)

Bruiser is measuring at 2lbs 7oz with Fidget at 2lbs 3oz (Give or take 5oz).  They actually didn't measure my uterus and I forgot to ask so I'm assuming I still am measuring 7-8 weeks ahead.

The perinatologist nurse called to let me know they had gotten most of my lab results in (my thyroid results take a little big longer than an afternoon to come back).  I passed the glucose (gestational diabetes) test! Woo hoo! The flip side is I failed the hemoglobin (iron level) test.  And I didn't just fail it a little.  I apparently flunked it bad.  I'm waiting to hear from the infusion center about when I am to come in for my first of weekly iron infusions! FUN! Ok, not so much.

My IM said being pregnant is going to be a full time job for me from here on out!  Twice monthly doctors visist (which will turn into weekly before we know it), weekly iron infusions, then, starting at the end of April, we'll add the twice weekly non-stress tests (They'll hook my belly up to monitors and watch the babies so to speak.  Check heart rates, movements and any contractions I may be having).  And lets not forget about the monthly growth scan ultrasounds! I'm ready, bring it on!!!

Picture time!

This was taken at a friends baby shower and she insisted we take a belly to belly shot (I'm in the black dress)
                                                                  3-17-2012 24 weeks

But, like any crazy pregnant lady, I had to try on a zillion outfits the night before (which I texted my cousin and had her pick a winner).

Too dressy

Cute, but my cousin had seen me wearing this shirt (with jeans instead of a skirt) the week before and she said she wanted to dress me up in something she hadn't seen yet lol.

And here I am at 27 weeks! (We're ignoring the obvious fact that I'm in my pajama's...right?)

Monday, March 19, 2012

24 week perinatologist appointment

All is well.  Had my appointment on 3-14-2012.  Babies are growing ginormous (is that an actual word?  Spell check doesn't flag it so it must be so!  Spell check has spoken!!!)

The stats:

Bruiser-Is measuring around a little over week ahead (as usual) and is now in a head up, almost transverse position (although I think she has since moved head down again because the bump on the left side of my belly has reappeared just like when she was head down).

Fidget-Still head down.  I told her not to take any crap from her sister and keep that little head just where it is.  My cervix is her pillow and she can tell Bruiser because I said so all she wants!  She's measuring pretty much right on track (a day behind but mehh).

All in all, almost 4 pounds of baby in there!  I was 24 weeks at the appointment and measured between 31-32 weeks pregnant.  So the award goes to me because I've been telling people I feel as big as I was around 30-32 week pregnant with my son and they always tell me I'm so tiny for twins.  Well, I won this battle (I shouldn't be so excited about being right in this case but I'll take whatever I can get :-p)

Picture time!  I seem to be attached to my cell phone camera lately (when am I not attached to my cell, really now?)  And pictures are always my favorite part of any post :-)

(And no, I haven't blurred out my face.  It's just one of those really old mirrors that has spots that don't reflect so well anymore lol) 3-9-2012

Bare belly up close 3-9-2012

3-10-2012.  Picture taken in sadness that this shirt is getting short so quickly and to ask if it was too short to wear with leggings anymore.  Sadly, the answer was yes ~tear~ haha.


My example of why I should only wear tightly fitting maternity clothes.


VS not so bad

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

23 week in!

Sorry for the lack of blog update.  I had planned on updated after my IP's visit but my little guy got the stomach flu that night.  Icing on the cake was that by Saturday evening, I was sick too.  And being pregnant (which lowers your immune system) meant I was knocked down HARD! 

My IP's trip was very short (they arrived around 11:30PM Wed. evening and left around 6AM Friday morning), but I was so glad they got to see their babies on the ultrasound screen.  It gives such a different perspective getting to see the ultrasound as opposed to getting still pictures!

Baby girl A (who I have nicknamed Bruiser) is beating her sister in the size department.  3 weeks ago she measured in at 15oz (a little over a week ahead).  She doesn't move often, but when she does...holy cow! She didn't get the nickname "Bruiser" for nothing!

Baby girl B (Nickname Fidget) is much much much more active than her sister.  At 12oz (3 weeks ago that is), she may be smaller, but she makes her presence known!

Our scan/peri appointment actually took longer than anticipated, so we didn't have time for the hospital tour we had planned.  We actually hit the road running from our appointment.  We had to travel half way across the state to the capital city annnnnd, we were a little on the late side.  Luckily for us, our paper work had been misfiled so it took them a few minutes to track it down.  Met my IP's lawyer (who was 14 weeks pregnant with twins herself!) and of course my lawyer was there too.

My IP's and I all had a good laugh afterwards that they made us actually take the stand and be sworn in.  IM and I had a few flubs while on the stand.  She mixed up the girls middle names, then quickly corrected herself.  I misunderstood the way their lawyer said something and I thought I was saying I understood and had no objection to the change of venue for the trial but I apparently said the opposite.  Whoops.  IF got off easy.  He had to say his name, address and then was asked if he agreed with all the answers his wife had given "Identical" and that was that.  The lucky little turd haha.  We grabbed lunch with my IP's lawyer (who is a hoot btw).  I couldn't even tell she was pregnant, let alone with twins yet she claims to have gained 30 pounds! I on the other hand, have gained less than 10 and look like a python who just swallowed a deer.

Picture time!  Some of these I look cute in...Others, not so much.

20 weeks front and side views

21 weeks 6 days.  This was one of those python kind of days.  I seem to expand in the evening.

A picture of the coolest shirt in the world. PIVOT! (If you're not a Friends fan, you probably don't get it)

23 weeks

And for a side view, I ran and took a picture just for you all!

My next doctor appointment will be on the 14th and I believe I'll be starting bi-weekly visits at that point. Crazy because it seems so soon!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

17 weeks and all is well!

It's been confirmed that my IP's are expecting two little girls ! Very exciting times.  And a technical update about my cervix so if that kind of stuff grosses you out, skip to the next paragraph ;-)  Took another peek at the girls via u/s.  Still looking good.  Doctors also measured my cervix with an internal u/s probe and I measured at a 4.6 something.  Anything over a 2 or 2.5 is considered good and the doctor said I was in the 90 percentile so go go cervix go!  Keep those girls where they're supposed to be until June!

My IP's are coming to town in February and although it's a short trip, I'm excited!  They'll get to see the babies on u/s, we'll take a tour of the hospital then we'll drive to the state capital to file some paperwork for the babies.  I'm extra excited because I'll get to learn this girls names that day (since they're needed for the paperwork).

Today I met up with 7 other fantastic surrogate friends.  I love when we all get together.  I'm sad no one thought to take a picture this time.  We went to Granite City and three of us had to order chocolate cake to go because it looked so good but we were so full! Out of the 8 people there, 4 were pregnant, 1 is PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) since she just had her transfer Wednesday of this week! Two are cycling for a February and March transfers (routing them on as we were cycle buddies in October on a surrogacy web site but they had negative cycles) and one is matched and waiting to be cleared by her IP's clinic (shouldn't take too long as she'll be a 2 time GS).  Not one of us waiting for couples to match with!  Looks like the hunt for surrogates is on.  Someone even mentioned that their large agency has a wait list for IP's at the moment (they're normally matching quickly).  Too many people to help and not enough surrogates to do it.  And people question why we do this more than once?

Belly pictures for the curious!

                                                                       12 weeks

15 weeks

17 weeks 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Time to update the good ole blog :-)

Well, I am now 11 weeks pregnant with the surro twins and I wish I could say time was flying ;-)  The first trimester is a beast to put it kindly.  Even with loads of ginger, sea bands, B6, unisom and Zofran and any other little trick you can think of, I still get the pukies a few nights a week and feel ill every night.  Bluck, hopefully that will all be a thing of the past sometime in the next month.

Nathan has been out of town a lot (first for a friends wedding in Hawaii and now for a 3 week business trip) so it's been up to momma to struggle through the morning sickness and my high energy, now 4 year old.  Little man had his birthday at the end of November (as did I for that matter). I tried to celebrate my birthday with good Kansas City BBQ while the in-laws were in town for the holidays and was a bad bad bad idea lol.

I had a bleeding scare back in week 6-7 (while SO was in Hawaii).  Of course, middle of the night comes and I'm home alone with my young child and I start bleeding. After calling two different RE's, I waited until the morning and had a scan and thank goodness both babies looked perfect!

Had the N/T tests today and got to see the babies move for the first time on u/s :-D That was pretty cool!  This test is apparently complicated by the fact that there are two babies and since I'm only 11 weeks but it ended up working well.  Heartbeats of 150 and 160 beats per minute.  Baby B loves the camera and despite being a little mover and shaker, gave us all the shots we needed.  Baby A was ornery and kind of a lazy bum.  We had to jiggle the probe several times to get the shots we needed.  Is it bad that I'm starting to form opinions of what their genders are based on their behavior in utero? ;-)

I have some pictures to share and as soon as my scanner decided to cooperate and stop being the broken pos that we bought less than six months ago, I'll add them to this post!

Friday, October 28, 2011

The betas are in!

Here's a picture of my last HPT taken the morning of my first beta

Nice and strong. And so was my beta!  11dp 3dt=311

Today my repeat beta came in.  13dp 3dt=893!!!!!!!!!

So with a doubling time of 30.89, I'm holding strong with my theory that both embryos stuck and I'll be delivering twins come summer time!  Due the 4th of July :-)

Monday, October 24, 2011

The results!

Well, I thought I'd be able to make a nice blog update while I had free time in NYC.  That was a big fat giant fail!  My phone wouldn't let me update.  How rude.  Moving on :-)

We made our way to NYC (My cousin joined me as my companion person since SO ended up being needed at work).  We ended up having to make an emergency hotel change after the first night.  To share with you all what hotel number 1 looked like....

Like a breeze?  Good because the window was broken and would fall open and not stay closed.

The cracked, nasty tub

Why?  Do they ever clean this crap?

I was oh so thankful I brought my house slippers

Need lead? We had pleanty.

And our deadbolt for the night.  The bottom suitcase alone was 50lbs even.

So, lesson learned.  The people at our agency need to put that on their black list of NEVER EVER PUT SOMEONE THERE.  It was horrid.  I love my IM.  She could tell something was wrong when I called to let her know we had arrived in NYC safely.  She ended up calling me back 10 minutes later to say that she felt something was wrong and when pressed I admitted the hotel was awful.  She went out of her way to fight with Orbitz and the hotel we were booked at (something the agency really should have taken care of) and without even knowing if they could get their money back for an 11 night stay at this hotel, booked me into another hotel that had availability starting the next day.  So we had dinner at Hard Rock Cafe at around midnight to kill time that we'd have to spend at the hotel room and left early the next morning for a doctors appointment (which IM was at as well for bloodwork for herself) with all of our luggage.  Haha.  That was a site.  The front desk of the office building looked confused.  Then IM got us a cab and checked us into the new hotel.  So thankful to have such great, hands on IP's!

After that, we only had a few doctors appointments and a lot of time to kill so we did the tourist thing.

             Our first New York City Chinese food delivery. We're dorks. We fully understand this ;-)

Our cool do not disturb sign

We made a trip to Mood Designer Fabrics and I found the coolest giraffe print!

Lady Liberty herself.

It was fun and I loved the time I got to spend with my cousin sans kids (she has 3 kid 4 and under plus my DS) but I was so anxious before the transfer!  I thought it would keep up after the transfer too but I magically turned zen afterwards.  I could finally relax!!!

I feel like his was all meant to be. IM had her best egg retrieval in her IVF history! 14 eggs retrieved. 12 were mature. 10 fertilized!  In the past she's never had more than 4 or 5 make it through fertilization!  So we had our pick of embryos!!!!!

The day of the transfer I was waiting in the IVF suite waiting room.  Filled with women who had changed into their hospital gown and robes.  I'm always humbled by the pure number of women battling infertility.  Every trip to my local RE, the RE in NYC and the IVF center.  Always.  When my time came they called me and two other women in my group back to a second waiting room.  1st woman went back.  I heard "Down and to the left".  A few minutes later my named was called.  They were wheeling woman number 1 past me and the nurse instructed me this time "Down and to the left".  In I walked into a dark OR (I didn't know those things got dimly lit.  I've only ever seen the ultra bright lights of an OR).  The nurse helped me into the leg bracket things and the RE who did the transfer talked to me about the transfer and the embryos.  From there, the embryologist came in and verified my personal information and that I have agreed to carry for M & T.  Then the RE put in the catheter and we just sat their in limbo for a few minutes waiting for the embryos.  Lol, having a doctor try and make small talk with you while your vagina is inches away from his face with a cath in isn't really comfortable.  But all went well and I was wheeled to recovery where I waited for the next 30 minutes.

Getting back to the hotel was fun.  Every one is "off duty" that time of day and here I am, supposed to be on bedrest and can't get a cab!  Finally we got one willing to take us (thank goodness).  As surrogate folklore goes, I had McDonalds french fries with my lunch to ensure a successful transfer ;-)  24 hours of bed rest and an additional day later, we finally made our way home, after missing our connecting flight because our first flight was late. I thought for sure running up that escalator was going to be the end of any baby ;-)  Over reaction much? Lol.  It looks like it!